Hello, my name is Healey, but my real (family) name is Ravelsaye Rahja. I was named after Dennis Healey, a Chancellor of the Exchequer who had eyebrows like mine.I am two years old and I was born in the North Lake District. My Aunt won 'Best in Class' at Crufts a few years ago.
When I go to the park with the Old Lady, who I call Mummy, I like to annoy her by chasing other dogs. She shouts "Healey! Healey! Come here!" I ignore her. Then she gets some biscuits out and shouts "Healey! Healey! Come here!" I run back to her and she gives me a biscuit. She falls for it every time!
My favourite game is to chase my family up the stairs, but I will never go beyond the twelfth stair. I have respect for the humans' own space, just as they respect my bed by not sleeping in it on weekday nights.
I think I am a very independent dog. Apart from being fed, walked, let outside, groomed, vaccinated and having doors opened for me, I think I am fairly self-sufficient. I don't like being stroked unless I'm bored - It implies that the humans are superior to me, which contradicts my caninist values.
I am having a lot of trouble finding a decent barber in this backward area of England. Mummy wants me to send out a plea for a recommended hand stripper somewhere in the North of England. I am available for appearances in films, plays etc.. at competitive rates. For bookings (!) or just to say hello please e-mail my family at email@example.com.
Maddie Goes Global
Copyright © 1998
James C. Ferenzi, M.D.